This web page has been created as a place for people to record, in the public interest, their misgivings about LP and/or its failure to 'cure' them.

Contributions should be e-mailed to: johnsayer23@btinternet.com

Disclaimer: while authorship will not necessarily be disclosed on this page, it is assumed that accounts sent here are honest and sincere and responsibility for their contents remains with their originators.

(Most recent contribution at top)

The Lightning Process did not work for me. I did the training with Phil Parker himself in Crouch End, London, in November 2006. Not only did it not cure me of my CFS/ME, but it actually initiated a relapse and left me much more ill than I had been prior to starting it. This relapse lasted at least a year and a half, and I have no way of knowing what permanent damage doing the LP may have done to my body and health.

The Lightning Process is billed as a training programme, although the website does not tell you anything about the content of the course. You have to actually undertake the course in order to find out what is involved. You are also instructed not to talk about it afterwards with anyone, including fellow sufferers. My training took place in 3 hour sessions over 3 consecutive days in London, along with 4 other ME sufferers, and cost £560. There was a CD to buy for £20 at the end of the course and follow up phone calls cost £50.

It is a psychological technique. Like Reverse and Mickel Therapies, the LP website is careful to say that ME/CFS is a physical illness, thus ensuring that sufferers will pay attention, but it does not say that the technique is entirely psychological. They provide an explanation about the adrenaline cycle making you ill but it does not appear to be backed up by any actual scientific evidence relating it to ME/CFS.

I completely believed in the LP philosophy at the time I did it and was committed to doing the Process. I did experience some difference in myself in the 5 weeks after doing the training. I wouldn't say I felt better but I was doing much more than usual (as it turned out, far too much) and my sleep quality was improved during that time. But I became very ill again, literally overnight, and I was left feeling much worse than I had been prior to starting the Process. I tried hard but no amount of doing the Process was able to reverse the relapse.

The website says LP was developed using techniques from Neuro Linguistic Programming, osteopathy, self hypnosis and life coaching. However, there is no osteopathic element involved at all. My interpretation of it is as a Mind over Matter technique, akin to the 'psyching up' process that I usually have to do in order to achieve short-term goals, such as going out to the shop or an appointment, or even just getting out of bed in the morning. However the LP encourages you to employ that technique all the time. I know it can work in the short-term but it is not sustainable for any length of time.

LP claims to decrease the excessive adrenaline levels which are causing one to feel ill. However, the effect of the training was to 'psyche me up', virtually constantly for 5 weeks, until my body could obviously sustain it no longer and I crashed overnight into a relapse. I was 'buzzing' during those five weeks; my adrenaline levels must have been dramatically elevated not reduced.

During the three sessions I was encouraged and persuaded to believe that there was nothing actually wrong with me and that I could 'coach' myself back to health. Phil told us that we were not really ill but had got trapped into a cycle of thinking and believing that we are ill which sustains itself. ie. if you concentrate on your symptoms all the time, then you're going to keep having them. You are instructed to stop thinking about your symptoms and to get on with "living the life you love". I was to think of myself as healthy and behave as if I was healthy, ignoring the symptoms and "getting on with it". I trusted in this advice and followed it completely, and as it turned out, to my severe detriment. My relapse was obviously caused by drastically overdoing it physically in the following five weeks.

As an example, on the first day, after our 3 hour morning session, Phil asked the five of us what we were going to do that afternoon. Predictably we all answered that we would be resting up in preparation for the next day's session. He said that was very dull considering there was so much to do in London. As a result, I changed my plan of spending the remainder of the day in my hotel resting and instead visited a tourist site in the afternoon. He asked us next day what we had done and, as I had been most ambitious in what I did, I was singled out and praised. One of the others had gone for a long walk and he was also commended for that. No account was taken of actually how fit or well enough we were to do these things

Phil told us our symptoms were not evidence of anything sinister, could be ignored and that we would not damage ourselves by following the technique. I was prepared to believe him because, mainly due to the inadequacy of diagnosis, treatment and care afforded to CFS/ME by the NHS, I did not have any evidence to the contrary. However, I have since had various tests done privately which show bacterial and parasitical infection in my blood, malfunctioning and deterioration at a cellular level, low cortisol levels, vitamin deficiencies and heavy metal toxicity - not exactly evidence of nothing being wrong with me physically. No amount of positive thinking and ignoring symptoms is going to wish away parasites, bacteria, vitamin deficiencies or mercury poisoning. It is ludicrous and highly irresponsible to suggest that it would.

Myself and the four others in my group were not asked anything about our medical history, the severity of our ME or of any other complications or additional illnesses which we might have had. There was no account taken of us as individuals and although some of us were obviously more ill than others, the same advice was issued to us all. It is shocking that anyone can be so irresponsible in giving blanket advice to people, of whom he obviously knows nothing concerning the severity and details of their illnesses.

A mind over matter technique cannot possibly be claimed as an overnight cure for a physical illness such as ME, with its varying and as yet, mainly unknown, causes, and diverse and frequently severe symptoms. If it was as simple as thinking ourselves better, none of us would be in the state we are now. How often have you, especially when first ill, kept on as normal, saying to yourself "there's nothing wrong with me really, I just need to try harder" when, of course, you are actually seriously ill and incapable of the efforts you are trying to make. LP tries to utilise those mistaken beliefs to persuade you to pretend that you are well when, of course, you are not.

I find the "living the life you love" concept extremely patronising. The only reason the vast majority of us aren't currently "living a life we love" is because we have been cruelly stricken down by a hideous disease over which we, through absolutely no fault of our own, have no control. I can assure Phil that without ME in my life, I wouldn't be having any trouble at all in "living a life I loved" - and without any assistance required from him.

There are a lot of positive testimonials on the website. I have not studied them all but a lot of them have been written soon after completing the training, usually within several months. I must admit that I too would have written a glowing testimonial during the five weeks after because I was still 'geed up' by the process. Also, because the process instructs you to only concentrate on the positive, it is a very convenient method of filtering out any negative and adverse comments. For instance, Phil asked us to email him a few weeks after our training with a progress report but he specifically told us to only mention the positive things that had happened to us and not to mention any negative feelings, symptoms or experiences we'd had, obviously with the laudable aim of concentrating our minds on the positive. It also has the convenient benefit of providing purely positive testimonials for the LP.

The majority of comments written about LP on the web are overwhelmingly positive, which I find surprising and suspicious. I do not believe that I am the only person that it hasn't worked for. I did find several forums that were discussing it, with both negative and positive comments on it; however, all these discussions had been closed down, which I find curious. Part of the training programme was telling you that if it didn't work, then it was entirely your fault for not doing the process properly or for not really wanting to get well (!!) and I think I may have been influenced in that respect into thinking it was somehow my fault that it hadn't worked. I was severely disappointed that the Lightning Process hadn't worked for me, and when I realised it had actually harmed my health as well, then I did actually try to forget about it for a while whilst I tried to regain a tolerable level of health again. It has taken a considerable length of time for me to realise that in no way was I to blame for the fact that the LP didn't cure me and in fact made me more ill. I suspect there may be many others like me, who are unable to admit that it didn't work for them, either because they are too ill, too embarrassed or still brainwashed into believing that it's their fault that it didn't work.

I did believe the LP could work for me at the time I did it but I am now very angry about the mistreatment I received and the resulting harm it did to my already impaired health. I have now just about got over the resulting relapse but it was another wasted one and a half years and I do not know what long-term damage it has done to my system. Doing the Lightning Process was an extremely expensive mistake for me, both financially and health-wise. The Lightning Process is dangerous and exploitative, targeting ill and desperate people who will naturally believe and do anything in order to try to get better. I am ashamed of my own gullibility but I was effectively brainwashed by Phil Parker and his Lightning Process.

Shedding light on the Lightning Process


The Lightning Process is the latest 'miracle' cure for M.E and Chronic Fatige. It is shrouded in mystery because they drill it into participants that if they tell anyone about it, it won't work. It has worked for some people but not for others. It is based on affirmations and counteracting negative thoughts. If you are already familiar with such things it will not be anything new for you. I paid £550 to go on the course because I couldn't find out what it was really about. This is why I have written this.

There were four of us on the course. The morning of the first day was spent 'proving' mind over matter by showing us DVDs interspersed with talks from the tutor, a stout woman in her late fifties, telling us about people who had being wrongly diagnosed with cancer and then died anyway.

"That's how powerful your mind is," she trilled and didn't cite the many cases of people wrongly diagnosed with cancer who gave away all their money only to find themselves still alive and then sue the NHS - as was on the radio recently. We were shown optical illusions, pictures where one way it looks like an old woman, one way a young one and another one of an elephant with varying numbers of legs depending on how you looked at it. She kept pointing to her large sofas and telling us stories about people who had lain there unable to move at the start of the course and were walking again by the third day and then back at work/school by the following Monday (the course was mid week). I liked this bit. Before the course I could already walk, I could even work part time, but I still slept afternoons, travel exhausted me and nights out left me sleepless and overwrought. If others went from nothing to being able to work in four days I was sure to get well. I believed it could work. My basic attitude was I have paid £550 for this (borrowed money as I am on benefits); I am going to do what they say.

The first thing was to take responsibility for our illness. I had to stop saying I had M.E. Instead I have to say I am 'doing M.E'; I wasn't tired, I was 'doing tired and doing muscle aches' - the implication being if I am doing it I can stop doing it. I wasn't sure what I thought about this, but it didn't matter because I didn't get to put it into practice much on the course as you are not encouraged to talk about how you are. This was because we are going to concentrate on the positive, which at the time seemed fair enough. The facilitator was telling us more and more stories about the people she had cured. One of them even phoned up while we were having lunch and the phone was passed round the table so we could all talk to her. By that time I was up really up for it, we all were. Whatever the process was, I was going to do it with all my heart.

In the afternoon session we were told that the reason we had M.E is that we have negative thoughts. Every time we have them our adrenal glands give us "a squirt of adrenaline". This builds up and stops your body functioning properly.

The Lightning Process would stop this happening. This was a miracle. The five hundred and fifty pound wonder.

The tutor stood up. "To stop this you have to get up and say, 'Stop', make a physical movement, step back or cross your wrists in a pushing away movement." And she did the movement for us. Then she showed us how to go through an affirmation/self-coaching process, which I think is copyrighted so I'll paraphrase. You ask yourself if you want to choose happiness (which you obviously do) and then you say how fantastic you are to have stopped the negative thought. You ask yourself what you really want, then you answer yourself, and again ask yourself how you are going to get there. The answer, of course, is to keep doing the process, getting rid of those negative thoughts. Then you tell yourself how great you are again and maybe have a bit of a hug with yourself, then.....No, nothing; that's it.

Kerching! Five hundred and fifty pounds, please.

I was a bit perturbed at this point because I have been doing affirmations and therapy for many years so I am not blighted by the kind of negativity that can be emotionally crippling, and when I first discovered that, it was wonderful. But I discovered it in a book that cost £3.50. Now it seemed I had paid £550 for the same lesson.

However, the mere fact I had paid so much money meant I was going to do exactly as they told me: it had worked for others and it could work for me. We were told to do The Process thirty times that evening. I went back to my guest house and did as I was told. I spoke to my loved ones but when they asked how it went I was reluctant to talk about it. The tutor said that if we tell people about the process if won't work. That's right, to talk about the process means it can't work for you. She also told us that no matter how she feels she tells everyone she "feels fabulous". I wasn't quite ready to tell people I felt fabulous but equally I didn't tell anyone how much the first day had tired me because that is a negative thought and that must be countered, so I did my thirty processes, went for a walk and then to bed.

The second day when I turned up there were three big posters saying, "DON'T TALK ABOUT HOW YOU ARE UNTIL THE SESSION STARTS". I soon realised once it did start that is so the tutor can control everything. She didn't ask me if I felt better; she asked what I did the night before, I said, "I did the Process and I went for a walk." She said, "Sally, went for a walk, hooray!" - like it was a victory for the Lightning Process. But as I said, my M.E is moderate and I go for a walk every day, but no-one would have known.

As the day went on I was getting more and more tired. By mid-afternoon I was slumped in my seat watching yet another video about how the brain makes us over-produce adrenalin and how The Process can stop it. But I had been doing the process and it hadn't stopped it. All the tutor's happy chat about even more people she had cured was starting to sound stale.

I was not the only one who looked knackered. One of the blokes started asking questions about why he doesn't feel what they say on the DVD.

"It's a three-day process!" she snaps - and makes him do the Process.

Any awkward question for the rest of the session was answered with, "It's a three-day process," or anything even more awkward she says we can ask in the individual sessions we are having the next day.

If anyone says anything she thinks is negative we are interrupted and corrected.

At one point she left the room. It felt very naughty but I whispered to one of the women sitting next to me, "How are you? Is this working for you?" She was reluctant to answer, to say anything but that she was doing well would be to go against the process because that is a negative thought. It was pointless asking, really.

Still I wanted it to work, but I was starting to worry about the fact that I was not only not feeling any better, the effort of doing the course, not getting my normal rest, was making me feel worse.

But these were negative thoughts. I started to ruthlessly suppress them like I had been shown.

Yes, by that evening I was doing the Lightning Process to counteract my thoughts about the Lightning Process itself.

The next day I still felt no different. I went and had my one-to-one session and when I told her that, she said I was being negative (of course) and that I must keep doing the process at home and it would work. But on the course I was told that the reason it was called 'lightning process' was that because it worked liked lightning (they even produced diagram with a graphic of some lightning in case we didn't get it. I got the concept, it just wasn't happening.) From all the literature I was sent prior to parting with borrowed money to go on the course, were testimonials saying how fast it had worked. Nobody said it didn't work on the course but that it did later. Also, I realised when you fill in the form you have to say whether you question things. This is because they don't want anyone on the course who does. They need to control everything. You are not allowed to talk about how you are because that is being negative. In the session anything I even hinted to this effect was countered with the comment that I was being negative. So we moved on to what else she could do for me. I said one of my biggest problems was being exhausted but unable to sleep. So we did a visualisation that involved a pressure point on my hand and she said whenever I couldn't sleep I could just rub that point.

"There you are, you are cured," she said - so happily that I could see in her mind, where no negative thoughts ever creep, I was. She was clearly thrilled with herself. I wanted to believe her and tried it for the next few nights, of course to no avail.

The Lightning Process is supposed to be NLP and osteopathy. I could see no osteopathy: the only movement on the course I attended was the 'stop' movement and the pressure point on my hand I mentioned above. The woman who ran the process had been cured herself so maybe they have got something. I didn't disbelieve her. She had a large house with a spare flat that she no longer needed to rent out due to how much she was making from peddling the Lightning Process to desperate people like me.

To give her her due, she did drive me to and from the station and after the course offered to work with me for free on the phone. So I accepted that but found out that working with me involved her telling me to keep working the process because it worked and arguing with my objections by saying I hadn't given it time and that I was being negative.

She kept saying, "Keep doing it 'cos it works," and had nothing to say when I said I had kept 'doing it'. She said I had given up so soon. I was told it had a 93 % success rate. On my course of four it seemed to work for one person and had an impact on another, but for two of us it failed completely.

Phil Parker, who invented this process, charges £1000 for his three-day courses and has over 20 people per course. He should put some of that money into doing a proper clinical trial. It must be easy to wire people up to see if they get a squirt of adrenaline when they have negative thoughts. Maybe that does happen for some people, but not all. Some people do get cured, but not me.

I wished they had asked on the application form if I was plagued with negative thoughts and whether I had worked with affirmations before. I could have told them No and Yes. Then they would have known their process was nothing new for me.

If you would like to know more about other therapies for M.E and Chronic Fatigue I have tried (some with some success, some with none) please email me on: sallyholloway@boltblue.com


I think people should know just what LP is.

I am almost ashamed to say that I tried LP last year. After ten years of this dreadful illness I think my reasoning has become unreliable as I am so desperate to get better and get my life back to normal.

The great publicity given to LP as a cure for M.E. is hard to ignore and as you read the 'recovery' stories the thought of good health overcomes any misgivings you might have about this mysterious 'cure'. The fact that there is NO diagnostic test for neurological M.E. leaves one with the question of exactly who does have M.E. rather than chronic fatigue or depression. This miracle cure claims to cure a disease of which medical research has not yet found the cause (impossible). 

The course consisted of three days from 10am until 2pm with a half-hour break for tea and biscuits (no lunch). The cost was £880.00 - plus two nights in a nearby hotel (as the coach advises to stay away from home and look on this as a life-changing holiday).

There were four people on the course, so that's £3520.00 for the coach for just over ten hours work. Not bad wages! The coach was very friendly, caring and convincing he could teach us how to recover. He told us he had recovered from M.E. after seven years and been in a wheelchair at one stage. Another lady who was learning to become a coach was taking notes and observing everything. She too told us she had had M.E. but was now recovered by the process.

We were not allowed to discuss the process with other sufferers but just to do it and recover. We were told to cut off all contact with other M.E. sufferers and when asked about LP to say we were cured. We were told to ignore symptoms and keep saying we were cured regardless. I know this sounds crazy but the coach was excellent at his job of VERY high-pitched sales and the people he was selling to were very desperate to get better. The product he was selling us was positive thinking; nothing more, nothing less. 

 The Lightning Process is:

Believe the Lightning Process will cure you.

Tell everyone you are cured.

Stand on paper circles with some key words written on them.

Learn to say a rhyme when you feel symptoms, no matter where you are, and as many times as it takes to make the symptoms just go away!

Speak in positive words and think with positive thoughts only.

Shout "Stop!" at every symptom.

You are responsible and choose to have M.E. - you must choose a life you love.

If the process is not working, you are not doing it right. 

 That's it, believe it or not. Sounds stupid, I know, but these are highly-trained life coaches and after handing over £880.00 we all tried really hard to give it our best shot. Not one of the four sufferers recovered and from talking to them I realised they were extremely sick, desperate people who, like myself, would do anything to get better.

It's sad that we have to revert to every charlatan who looks you straight in the eye and says they can cure you. Cure you of what? So we are back to the same scenario. 

Until there is a diagnostic test for neurological M.E. no one can cure us. You cannot treat a disease until you know the cause. 

Many people self diagnose M.E. Many doctors diagnose M.E. but the average GP has no training in the illness. Many people suffer from depression and would probably benefit from LP but I can assure you no one can cure neurological M.E. yet.

I hope my story helps others save their £880.00. Just send it to "ME Research UK", as with enough funds they will find the cause - and indeed cure - for neurological M.E.

I recently attended an ME Support Group, along with 8 other poor souls, and was "Processed by Lightning".

Have you ever invited an Everest Double Glazing Salesman or an Amdega Conservatory "Consultant" into your home and after 10 minutes regretted that mad impulse? I have, and with the Lightning Process, it was a case of déjà vu.

A "40 minute talk" by Emma, our Lightning Process Consultant, turned into a two hour "Death by Power-Point" seminar. I learnt all about how Emma, when younger, had phobias, post-traumatic stress; anxiety, depression and then got a "virus" on an exotic island (as one does). The "virus settled" but she did not get better until she met Phil Parker and after Day One of the Lightning Process, she was better. Ah, bless.

We learnt all about the strenuous training the "Consultants" undertake. Emma explained that it takes 12 months. Someone asked if that was full time. Oh, well "no, it wasn't". You just attend at weekends -10 weekends - one each month-then you have an exam! So it takes 20 days at The European College of Holistic Medicine, Crouch End to be trained - not 12 months!

The Power Point Presentation goes on-and-on-and-on - (copyright "Phil Parker Lightning Process. TM"). We are told the "Myths of ME" - "that people with ME have relapses". I pointed out that it was not a myth. Well it is, according to the Lightning Process.

The Presentation states that it is perfectly possible to successfully and rapidly recover from ME. "What diagnostic criteria do you use?" I asked. "Oh," said Emma," that's a very detailed question we can't go into now but ME, Post Viral Fatigue, Chronic Fatigue and Fybromyalgia are all similar conditions". We were told that people who had been ill for 3 months up to 40 years have been cured; that there are now 120 Consultants in this country and that dear Phil has been in the USA spreading the gospel. I guess they will love him there, and in Crouch End of course.

And the way the Lightning Process works? Illnesses can be cured by changing your thoughts. By turning all those negative thoughts into positive ones, you break the "Adrenaline Loop" and build up the immune system which makes you all better. Sounds simple, or simplistic? Examine the detail. Is there conclusive evidence that your immune system is underactive and requires building up? Is there conclusive evidence that positive thinking can cure physiological disease? If the reason you are not recovering from ME is a continuous high level of adrenaline, do practitioners measure this before you start the course and after you finished it? The answer to all three of those questions is "No". Conclusive evidence in the diagnosis and causation of ME is not yet here.

If you do the course and do not get better, remember it is not the fault of the Lightning Process, it is you. You're just not applying the training that you received and need to work harder! Do you get your money back? Ah, well no - you just have to keep on trying.

Emma, our Consultant, does not, of course, do this training for the money. Oh, heavens no! She told us she does not need the money. So I asked her if she would be willing to offer free training courses? "I'm afraid not," she said. "If we offered it for free, anyone, just anyone, could come along who had not invested their whole self into wanting to learn the Process and to doing the retraining of themselves."  You see, by investing your £700 you have invested "your whole self" and if you do not pay the fee then you are not really serious about getting better. Still, you can pay by instalments and you will be pleased to know that all classes of society attend.

Will the Lightning Process help you? Well that's where we come to the devil and the detail. The Lightning Process makes no mention of sub-groups, that's detail. Yet most doctors treat the terms "ME" and "CFS" as incorporating a huge range of symptoms and causes. You may be tired from a persistent viral infection; tired through stress, anxiety or depression; recovered from the original virus that first laid you low but needing help finding your way back into the "well-world". You may feel "not too bad" one day and "totally exhausted" the next. Where do you fit in? I don't have an answer. Even you may or may not know. But if you are to be cured by the Lightning Process or the other neuro-linguistic processes around, it is essential that you do your homework. Ask questions, query statements, treat anecdotal evidence and personal testimonials with great caution. It's the devil and the details again.

If you do decide that the cause of your ME-type exhaustion lies outside the psychological sphere, what then? Can the Lightning Process cure ME as originally described by Melvin Ramsay? Having heard how it is supposed to work, I do not believe it can.

I came away from that seminar feeling ill at ease. Let no one be unaware of the way that the Lightning Process is sold. It is a slick Power-Point sales pitch, backed up by pseudo-medical half-truths, delivered to vulnerable people who are desperate to be well. Where were the caveats to its claims? I heard none but with the "Devil in the Detail" there were not likely to be.

(Please note that the name of the Consultant given above has been changed to protect her identity)

I did the course in 2007; it lasted three days, two in a group with four others and one 1-2-1 session with a trainer. The first day was four hours of intensive concentration with only a short break. We were taught the main coaching technique and asked to do something outside our normal comfort zone after the class, something we'd love to do but hadn't because of illness.

I love walking (or used to!) so I chose to walk home from the course venue, which was at least twice as far as I'd normally be able to walk. I knew this would be a challenge, but my trainer was encouraging - she thought it perfectly reasonable. But by that evening I was shocked to find I was much iller than I'd been for ages - all the old burning, inflammatory symptoms returned with a vengeance. This was despite using the LP technique as instructed, repeatedly all the way home on the walk, and afterwards.

I had thought that I might relapse after doing LP and was determined to avoid that happening to me. But I never thought that I would get iller before I even finished the course! My 'faith' in the process was not at all enhanced as a result. However the worsened symptoms had more or less gone by the next day so, with my sister's persuasion, I decided to carry on with the course, despite having serious doubts at this point. Without my sister's encouragement (she was just eager for me to find something that helped), I'm sure I would have given up.

But I hung in there and I feel I got some benefits from LP. I did like the emphasis on having 'a life you love' and still remind myself of that. I made a very good decision because of that focus and felt my quality of life improved as a result. But that said, despite using LP consistently for some months I never reached what they call 'automatic' (when they say you no longer need the techniques because you can do what you want when you want). And long-term I experienced no physical improvement to speak of.

One of the most disabling of my symptoms, and the one I was most keen to be rid of, is the urgent need I have to crash out during the day, usually in the afternoons. Going without this rest/sleep almost invariably results in me feeling very ill. LP did nothing whatsoever for this symptom, and had no effect on my poor cognitive processing (another key facet of my illness).

'Belief' seems an important part of LP, and I've since discovered that hypnotic techniques are used in the training, so I wonder if those who recover are more responsive to this. I also doubt whether if those who do recover (and there's no doubt in my mind that some do, as I know a few of them) have exactly the same illness as those who don't.

LP is horrendously expensive and the price has at least doubled since I did the course two years ago. But if it really works, then of course most of us would leap at it. What we need to know is why it helps some people and not others, and how to tell if someone is amongst the constituency which will benefit, or not. I expect eventually sub-types work will show who it works for and why. Unfortunately at present the LP people will only spout that those who do not recover are not doing the process correctly, which is offensive and absurd given that it seems to 'work' for some straight away, before they had much chance to practise the technique. I've also heard it suggested that it makes a difference which trainer you have, with some more experienced than others. My trainer was [ - ], so certainly in my case, poor training can't be at fault.